If you are a loving, empathetic, and forgiving human being – then you are a perfect target for becoming a Narcissistic Supply. However, these ‘weaknesses’ can become your strengths to cut the narcissist down when they no longer have control over you and your emotions.
A narcissist gains their importance by eliciting emotions and reactions from you – usually anger or sadness. They gain their so-needed control by making you lose all control. Of course, they would want you to adore them more than anything in the world rather than be angry at them.
The narcissist is sure of their power over you. They believe that they can influence your thoughts and emotions and can manipulate you to do anything they want.
That being said, let’s see what you can do to manipulate the narcissist in order to survive the relationship and not let them hurt you. However, remember that you cannot change the narcissist.
You cannot change another human being no matter how much you want it. The so-desired change must come from within them. This is why it is so hard for a narcissist to change. Because they don’t see a problem with their behavior.
Manipulating the narcissist: Method 1
You stop mirroring them any longer. You stop reacting to their outbursts. You stop being their emotional puppet anymore.
The narcissist sees their victim’s whining, tears, and complaints. They see their emotional meltdowns and their anger. And they perceive all these emotions as love. A narcissist is a person who is feeding off their victim’s emotions because they are not capable of having real ones themselves.
So, you should start seeing the narcissist as they are. You should stop feeding their ego by flattering them constantly. You should stop asking them questions about themselves. Be willing to tell them ‘no’ anytime they ask you for a favor and call them out on their bullsh*it when they start giving you excuses as to why they failed to keep their promise.
This will put the narcissist off balance. They will then probably go on to find their next victim because they feel a lack of Narcissistic Supply. If they don’t find anything, they will come to you again, “apologize” and “beg” you for another chance. They will suddenly act all charming and loving toward you. But that is only a trap to lure you back into their life.
At this point, you must be strong and do not give them another chance. No matter what they do and how “sorry” they tell you they are.
In other words, you are providing them with what they need, and you let them play the card of ‘poor little me,’ while in reality, you are the one who is holding all the cards.
Manipulating the narcissist: Method 2
This method is the opposite of the first. In other words, you should mirror everything that is positive about them and give them back.
Tell them what you love about them. Shower them with attention and praise. Admire them all the time. Start building them up so high so that their fall would be much greater. Do all these things while planning your escape silently, and then leave them when they least expect it.
This method is perhaps the most difficult and the most dangerous because our nature is to love and care for our partner. We want a real love. When we are in a relationship with someone we want it to last.
And when we are being two-faced in an attempt to manipulate the narcissist, we are only going against ourselves. We are becoming inauthentic phonies. That can be very damaging to our mental wellbeing.
So, I think that the best solution is to get your life in order by implementing better life choices and get yourself prepared to leave the narcissist to heal and find your true essence again.